Coinbase: Making Bank Despite Crypto's Wild Ride 🏍️

GM Guys and Gals,

We're back with some exciting news from Coinbase, and no, it's not another NFT drop that will cost you an arm and a leg. It's time for our favourite quarterly report, brought to you by Coinbase - the one and only place to be if you want to lose 67% of your investment in the last 12 months.

But don't worry, Coinbase's Q4 revenue and earnings beat expectations! Hooray! Of course, they still managed to lose $2.46 per share, but who cares about that when they made $605 million in net revenue? That's right, Coinbase is swimming in money while we're all struggling to afford a Twitter subscription.

However, there's a small hiccup - transaction volume fell 12% quarter over quarter to $322 million. But hey, who needs transactions when you can just sit on your pile of money and watch it grow?

And let's not forget about subscriptions and services - the real MVPs of Coinbase's revenue stream. Thanks to interest income, subscriptions and services accounted for nearly 50% of overall revenue in Q4. So, if you're looking for a way to make money without doing anything, just dump it into Coinbase and watch that interest roll in.

Coinbase also said that crypto markets have improved in Q1 compared to Q4, leading the company to generate $120 million in transaction revenue in January 2023. But don't get too excited, because Coinbase warned us not to extrapolate those results forward. Because, you know, the crypto market is about as stable as a toddler on a sugar rush.

But the real highlight of this report is Coinbase's CEO, Brian Armstrong, who revealed that "policy is his top priority this year." Wow, what a thrill. Armstrong has been spending a lot of time in Washington, D.C. trying to convince lawmakers that crypto is the future. Good luck with that, Brian. We're sure they're all just itching to learn about the benefits of decentralized finance.

In conclusion, Coinbase continues to swim in money while we all drown in student loan debt. But hey, at least we can dream of one day affording a single bitcoin.

As the crypto world continues to evolve, we will keep you updated on all the latest developments. Stay tuned for more updates from Web3shala.

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That’s it for the day, Web3Shala 👋

To the Moon 🚀